Growing Up

Sometimes I can taste the envy like a sweetly made Manhattan.

Over breakfast at a very fun diner my friend Bianca was just telling me about her night last night. It was an ordinary night, she got home from work, went to the gym where she flirted with "gym boy" for like 20 min, met some friends for dinner, and walked home. We then excitedly chatted about "gym boy" and the hopes that some day he will ask her out, or perhaps she just had to grow some balls and ask him out. "but there is something definitely there". All the while I wanted to be able to just have one of those nights again. Nothing spectacular. Just free.

Then it was my turn to talk about my night

I too went out to dinner, but ended up chasing a toddler around the restaurant or begged him to eat pretty much the entire time, we too walked home but halfway home Walter decided he didn't want to walk, nor sit in his stroller so I got to carry him. Once home I tried saying good night to him (daddy does bath time and bedtime) and he screamed and cried for 5 min after. 

As this conversation was taking place as I was simotaniously entertaining W, listening to Bianca and eating my breakfast at rapid pace as I had about 10 more seconds until W would want to get down and start exploring the restaurant.

Long past are the days where I stay up past 10pm, let alone go out on the town and have a evening not to remember. And 98% of me is glad for this. The other 2% longs to have just one more of those nights. For freedom. For spontaneity.  But here's the thing about being a mom, even if I did have a night out not to remember, I have a little man who needs me when I get home. 

I am so glad to have had the life experences I have had. They are the ones that help me wash the envy down and realize that it is someone else's turn in the disco spotlight. In return I have the most amazing little guy who does the funniest things. Like it or not we all have responsiblities in life. Haiving a child is a big one. One that changes your life in even the littlest of ways. But most of all you really do grow up and become an adult (98% of the time).