What Big Boys Do

Yesterday was a series of mind-blowing firsts as a mother. I am so grateful to have been there to witness them all....

Mind blowing first #1: I asked Walter if he wanted to dress himself, he said yes, I told him to go pick out a shirt, he did, and proceeded in putting on the shirt himself, the only snag was the head hole which proves to be a bit hard, since he has the head of a four-year-old, according to his summer hat. I then told him to pick out pants, he picked out a practical pair of blue sweats, and put them on all by himself. WHAT?!?! When did he learn to do this? He did it! I was over the moon

Mind blowing first #2: Showering since Walter was born has been a group activity, and it seems just as I've embrassed the "duck throwing game"* he changed the game. I got into the shower (sorry--hope the visual hasn't turned anyone away), started doing my business at rapid speed waiting for the duck, but only there was a strange silence....Oh shit I thought to myself, I should have put the baby gate up at the top of the stairs, as my heart lurched up into my throat, I called Walter's name, no response, so I stick myself out and do a visual investigation, whereupon I find him on the comfy brown chair reading to himself! The best part? He looked very agitated that I would disturb his reading!

He's growing up. Last year it was how tall, how much weight he could gain, this year its been more subtle. Being able to entertain himself, the words and phrases he has learned, the facial gestures, jokes, the personality blossoming, its mind-blowingly incredible. Sometimes I just want to freeze time and live in a moment forever like yesterday.

*Duck throwing game consists of me grabbing his rubber duck and throwing it over the curtain rod for him to catch, then him getting the duck, running back to the shower, pulling the curtain back and then throwing it at me, repeat as many times as necessary until mom is clean.

Toddler Bites

If the first year of life can be marked by the phrase "baby steps" then I think the second year of life can be marked by the phrase "toddler bites". Depending on which toddler you are talking about the last phrase could have many meanings. In Walter's case it means that he will take exactly one bite of banana and play for 15 minutes come back and have exactly three bites of his bagel and go back to playing for another 10 minutes and then come back for a swig of water and then go back to the business at hand. Then there are the times where he will ingest an adult portion of spaghetti and veggies, eat through an entire bagel, or an entire pint of blueberries and insist he wants more.

This all provides for stress. Who knew that eating would cause so much stress? This was definitely something I did not anticipate. I stress out about how much he eats or if he doesn't eat, when he eats and when he doesn't. At any given moment you could ask me how much Walter has had to eat and I can give you a detailed description down to the last crumb. Now there is a talent I never knew I had.

So here are my golden rules of combating the stress of Walter's eating habits:

• When thinking about how many servings of fruits, veggies, whole grains, dairy, ect Walter has I don't think in terms of per day, I think in terms of per week. Or not as a snapshot but rather a video. Some days its all carbs and some days its all broccoli.
• Typically the biggest meal of the day for toddlers is lunch, so I don't freak out if he has four bites of banana and 19 Cheerios for breakfast
• I keep an open door policy for Walter all his food is on a shelf he can access in the pantry so he can get his food himself, likewise for the fridge, he just needs me to open it.
• And I try to have healthy super-foods on hand such as blueberries (the amazing little berry that has too many good vitamins and antioxidants to mention), salmon, yogurt and oatmeal.

And what exactly are the guidelines for serving size for a toddler? Check out the age-by-age guide that babycenter.com has. It is a truly magnificent tool. 

At the end of the day I know my job as mom is to offer healthy selections and it is Walter's job to eat. But it is so hard when I ask if he wants an apple? no. Banana? no. Cheerios? no. And then he settles for the 3rd cheese stick of the day. Huh? Cheese the wonder food for toddlers and adults alike.  

No use Crying over Spilled MIlk

....a mom must have come up with that phrase after the 1000th time cleaning up after her precious little bundle of joy. Seriously. Seriously I was not prepared for what is the mess of having a child.

The first six months is not that bad in retrospective. Its just poop that expodes all over the place and spit-up. But brace yourself...the mess lurks just around the corner. We walked into Walter's aunt's house last year (Walter was about 8 months, and his cousin 4 years old.) and it was cluttered with toys pushed to the side, under the couches and incorporated into the living room decor. I stood there in my ivory tower and wispered quietly to Jose "we will never let our house look like that". Ummm yeah, a year later it does I say as I am eating my humble pie.

Don't be fooled by "the mess" in the beginning it really is a begnin presence, some baby food here, a dropped utensil there. It really starts at around six months for two reasons, most babies start eating solids AND they have the motor skills to throw things. Why, oh, why would mother nature be so cruel, doesn't she know that is a messy combination?  So food is thrown, toys are thrown, then they become mobile and toilet paper and boxes of Kleenex are fascinating beyond all belief , there are  the dumped glasses of water, pulled books off the shelves, the gravity game from the high chair with the baby food--splat on the floor, hand prints on the windows, marker on the floor and before you know it the mess is all consuming. And you could be cleaning all day long and still not make a dent in it. Because once one mess is cleaned another has been created.

You have two options, fight it--cry over the spilled milk. Or embrace it--growing up is a messy adventure.

Embracing it is hard, especially when I was so judgmental about the messes of others just a year ago. But mess is the nature of growing up. Its gonna get messy. Its how you deal with cleaning up I think is the key. At our house we have a couple of rules:

•  if something spills we clean it up right away. And so far Walter loves doing this.
•  At the end of the night we put away all the toys/art supplies/books that were taken out and not put away throughout the day
•  Try to put the last book read on the shelf before taking a new one off (we are at 50%) with that one. 
• Walter throws away his own diaper

I am also lucky in the fact that Walter loves to dust and use the broom so I foster this behavior any chance I get and praise him for the great job he did. I live with the hope that one day, in the not so near future the mess will leave, but I know better. So I have my friend the mess to keep me company.