tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2486673742458747822024-02-07T21:45:42.145-08:00The Unabridged Adventures of an Accidental Mama.....Tales, tribulations and tid-bits of an accidental mom.Accidental Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03323119963891941270noreply@blogger.comBlogger38125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-248667374245874782.post-76131203839573319322011-11-17T14:29:00.000-08:002011-11-17T14:29:27.662-08:00Working ItI have been working my ass off. At home. At work. With friends. Everywhere it seems I have been working hard. Hard to make things work. Does that make sense? Since going back to work, scratch that, since I became a mom things, to me, have seemed a bit jumbled. My very personality begs me to bite off more than I can chew. And I often do. It makes life more challenging, fascinating. But the thing about biting off more than you can chew when you have a child is, the thing you should be chewing can easily be your child.....maybe a bad analogy....<div><br />
</div><div>I took so long to go back to work. I needed time to figure things out. Because when I went back to work I didn't want to drop the ball, not with Walter, not with work. When I work I want to be fully engaged in it. I want to be successful. I am a hard worker. I love to work. Work has always been an outlet for me to very realistically measure my success. Contrast that with becoming a mom where the only measure of success I have some days is making it through with little to no tears. There are very few "thank yous" even fewer "good jobs". But nonetheless I do a <s>good</s> amazing job each day 24/7 365 days a week. Walter is happy and healthy, clothed appropriately, I know intuitively when they he is tired, hungry or needs a diaper change, I go to the park, I feed him healthy foods, I play with him, I make sure his needs are met. Yet, there is no measure of success, except a smile or a belly laugh or a "I love you mama" or a kiss. In some ways a few weeks after having Walter I was ready to get back on the work horse. Sleep deprivation and fear got the better of me.</div><div><br />
</div><div>So I've been back to work for just shy of six months. I have a promotion under my belt. I work hard. I put in long hours. Its been really hard and exhausting but so rewarding. I was asked to move up to the "fast track" to management. It was SO tempting. I stepped back and said no. I am going to take it slow. I've been very nostalgic this week. It could be in part because I am in charge of our store's Holiday promotion this year--the holidays ALWAYS make me nostalgic. It could be in part that most of Walter's little friends are turning two. I can't stand it, they are growing up SO FAST. Whatever the reason I've been thinking of the past a lot lately. </div><div><br />
</div><div>One observation that keeps swirling in my head; if I am in the same place I was <i>six </i>years ago, do I regret leaving the company? Do I feel like I've gone backward? And the simple answer is no. The amount of wisdom I've learned in the past six years could fill libraries. I am so grateful for those life lessons. I have a happy child who is healthy and our relationship has only strengthened since going back to work. I also know I don't have to be the consummate "go getter" at work to be doing a good job. And most importantly I feel like for the first time, in a very, very long time I am finding my sure footing. One foot confidently in front of the other. And that is the best feeling of all. So I am going to keep up all the hard work and go slow.</div>Accidental Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03323119963891941270noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-248667374245874782.post-69927881415854220542011-11-05T13:06:00.000-07:002011-11-05T13:07:07.816-07:00The Adventure of Making a Halloween CostumeJose and I began talking about Walter's Halloween Costume in about April. You see Walter has a title to defend: 1st runner up at Geraldine's Halloween Costume Contest. And so the costume creation time line goes something like this:<br />
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April-Mid-September: The great debate begins! Walter should be a ninja (Jose's idea, I wasn't too thrilled about it--we do call him our sleep ninja since he does get out of bed seemingly unnoticed and sneaks up on us, but does a ninja costume win first place at Geraldines Costume Contest? ), I wanted him to be a bumble bee (I just thought it would be cute to see him as a bumble bee because after all he did spend half the summer trying to pet them) however Jose wasn't too keen on that idea since it conjured up memories of Blind Melon songs for him. And the conversation kept going something like that, for months.<br />
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Mid-September: During a costume conversation alternate ideas were being thrown out left and right, until Max was mentioned from where the <i>Wild Things Are</i>. Yes we both agreed it was super appropriate, since it was one of Walter's most favorite books.<br />
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Mid September- October 23rd: I search the internet for ideas on how to make the Max costume, think about going to the fabric store and getting fabric and the supplies needed to make the costume. All the while Jose is supplying me with an increasingly frantic countdown to Halloween. "The costume will be ready won't it?" I always supplying the laid back stock answer "of course it will"<br />
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October 24th: After much internet research I figure out how I am going to construct this costume and go to the local consignment store to make the necessary purchases.<br />
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October 24th-26th Jose is becoming increasingly more and more sure that the costume is not going to be made in time and starts reminding me more and more frantically about making it. Cool as a cucumber I assure him not to worry.<br />
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October 27th: During the season finale of Project Runway I begin my costume making endeavors. Taking it as a good omen that Anya, the one who just learned to sew just four months ago won. I get the major construction of the costume done. See procrastination always pays off in the end. Phew! I can rest a bit now!<br />
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October 28th: Get into a pretty lengthy battle between the costume, glue gun and myself. Luckily none of us were battered beyond recognition.<br />
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October 29th: A wonderful date night surprise by Jose! Where the costume wasn't mentioned once....<br />
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October 30th: The glue gun battle of '11 wages on and for the first time I seriously start freaking out that the costume won't be done in time. Thus leaving my only child costume-less on Halloween and therefore becoming the official worst mom ever.<br />
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October 31st (Halloween): I go to work, almost shitting myself at how much of the costume must still be made. At work I construct a plan with contingency plans in my head for the execution of how I am going to get everything done by 330 in time for the Columbia City Trick-or-Treating party. It includes a trip to Ross, totally ignoring my entire family and working solely on the costume for the rest of the day, but it just might work and I might redeem myself as a good mother.<br />
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October 31st 337pm: The costume is complete! Thanks to Jose and Walter's infinite patience with me and some help from them too (they painted the crown). Walter now refuses to put the costume on. On the inside I am struggling to keep it together, if he sees how much I <s>want</s> need him to put the costume on I know there is a better chance of snow in hell. So I play my part and he eventually puts his costume on, only he doesn't like the whiskers, he won't wear the crown or the hood.<br />
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October 31st 4pm: It was hard work, but everyone is out the door and the Halloween celebration begins, with the whiskers tucked out of sight, the hood and the crown off the head.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuN_TtZ5iuPXulUAuFAK7ldc8tLjzBFJNhWT3sTsSgjd4F64qpl90s5nrYA_VIcmlR5OiubCoSGehguRXN6QNfzq017DcIv3-Z6XkxCq9MW5RJjt2svXDc_VUEEjhGoeQ90664axH13Jw/s1600/P1010158.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuN_TtZ5iuPXulUAuFAK7ldc8tLjzBFJNhWT3sTsSgjd4F64qpl90s5nrYA_VIcmlR5OiubCoSGehguRXN6QNfzq017DcIv3-Z6XkxCq9MW5RJjt2svXDc_VUEEjhGoeQ90664axH13Jw/s320/P1010158.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><br />
This year we weren't quite as lucky as last year and did not win anything at the Geraldine's Costume Contest. It was fun and challenge to make the costume and I loved every minute of making the costume and then watching Walter wear it all afternoon and evening. That was prize enough for me.Accidental Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03323119963891941270noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-248667374245874782.post-24526408626710052962011-11-02T14:03:00.000-07:002011-11-02T14:03:47.392-07:00And hello, again.Argh! A month has passed since I last posted anything. I truly intend to post, like three times a week, even! I feel like a trifecta of events are keeping me from doing it.<br />
1. I have had a massive case of writer's block/fear that causes me to think everything I write is boring and trite, and for the most part it probably is, but thats kinda the point of a blog now isn't it, its to make the boring and trite seem fun and exciting to read.<br />
2. Then there's the whole job thing, that makes me feel like the life force has been sucked out of me sometimes. I swear I don't know how other mom's do it, children, work and blog, I am barely keeping the child and work alive, the blog has turned into an afterthought as I am going to sleep at night slowly withering away.<br />
3. And then there are the things like cooking dinner, occasionally cleaning the house (laundry included), and trying to keep some semblance of a social life in order you know the peripheral things in life that make it all worth living?<br />
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So there is my trifecta of not blogging. Now that I have that off my chest I am going to take a stab at it again. Three times a week. November is national "write a novel in a month" month so I figure I am turning that into "write my blog three times a week" month. I can do it, and if its boring a trite you don't have to read it right? Right.<br />
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Ps I am including a link to one of my favorite vlogs by Jenna Marbles-- its inspiration to keep writing. You can find it <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_eNq7XlVtfU">here</a>.Accidental Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03323119963891941270noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-248667374245874782.post-83892612904850776862011-09-29T14:04:00.000-07:002011-09-29T14:05:07.950-07:00An apple a day....Part of the reason I took on doing the garden project was to show Walter food doesn't just 'appear' on the shelves and stands at the market but it needs to be grown, cultivated and harvested. That there are seasons for growing and then for enjoying. His love affair with the snap peas come to mind--he still goes out to the back yard and asks for them. Couple that with my love affair of going to my neighborhood's farmer's market is to build a relationship with the actual people who grow the food we consume. I have become pretty food savvy--or so I thought.....<br />
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There is the little nugget of information I learned yesterday that singlehandedly re-ignited my zeal for buying food from the source. Here's why; my friend was asking about Braeburn apples and why she hadn't seen them in the stores. The man replied "because they haven't been harvested this year yet". But apple season has just started and those Braeburns had just been in the market in July, somewhere they must have been harvested. And then it came out, the truth, most apples are frozen at harvest and thawed out when they are ready to be sold. <a href="http://www.preparedpantry.com/applereferencechart.aspx">Apple season</a> only really lasts from August-October, ergo apples should only be available then. And then I think of all the apples I have eaten between October and July.<br />
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Now I realize that harvesting and freezing is not the same as injecting meet full of hormones or genetically modifying a food. But I do feel a bit bamboozled by this information. It also makes me leery of buying apples from a grocery store from now on. Or perhaps maybe I should buy a year's worth of apples from my apple friend at the farmer's market and then freeze them myself. I just can't get over the fact that I've paid money for a very old apple thinking it was fresh.<br />
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What are your thoughts?Accidental Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03323119963891941270noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-248667374245874782.post-11985813142234687292011-09-20T13:25:00.000-07:002011-09-22T10:00:34.196-07:00Aren't you embarrassed?A few months back I posted about <a href="http://anaccidentalmama.blogspot.com/2011/05/no-use-crying-over-spilled-milk.html">"the mess"</a> the all consuming "mess" that comes with raising a child. Here is an update in my ongoing relationship with "the mess".<br />
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"Aren't you embarrased?" Jose asked rather pointedly when he was feverishly picking up at 330pm waiting for our nanny to come watch Walter while we enjoyed a much needed night out together.<br />
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"No." I replied back at him.<br />
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It stunned me. Usually I just reply to questions like that defensively like it was somehow an attack on my ability to keep the house clean. But this time I meant it. To my core. I think I've become at one with "the mess", could that be? To quote the great author Sark from <i>Living Juicy</i>, "you do enough, you are enough, you have enough." I think that is singlehandedly the best piece of advice and the hardest piece of advice to follow.<br />
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Something has got to give, working 20-30 hours (I have NO IDEA how moms who work full time do it), being the sole night time parent (ie the parent that wakes up if the child wakes up), playing with and educating Walter, nursing Walter (that is a whole other post in itself), feeding the family, household chores, family calendar planner, wow, the list keeps going but I finally get it, in the words of Sark: I do enough. If there are crumbs on the floor when the nanny comes, oh well.<br />
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I think it also comes down to my priorities. And yes, I would rather go to the park on a nice day and play with Walter, than mop. I would rather teach Walter jazz hands as I teach him his ABC's, than the laundry, I would rather give my family tasty meals than vacuum. So in all honesty no, I am not embarrassed, because those things will be there in five years, Walter, however will be in first grade and then, hopefully, just hopefully there will be time to tidy. But for now, I am at piece with the mess--at least for now.<br />
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<iframe frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?lt1=_blank&bc1=000000&IS2=1&bg1=FFFFFF&fc1=000000&lc1=0000FF&t=diaryof03-20&o=1&p=8&l=as4&m=amazon&f=ifr&ref=ss_til&asins=0890877033" style="height: 240px; width: 120px;"></iframe>Accidental Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03323119963891941270noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-248667374245874782.post-49598796274656854302011-09-17T13:58:00.000-07:002011-09-17T13:58:07.453-07:00Peas in a podOne of the best things about working in retail is you get to be a dutiful observer of other parents and THEIR children; their interactions, their tantrums, their sleeping habits. It is great!<br />
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I once listened to a child scream on and off in our lobby for 45 min, and that is after I started timing it, so I am sure it was more like an hour. I have witnessed a mess of gargantuan proportions and a dad on his hands and knees trying to clean it up. A mom bringing her daughter still in her pajamas into the store at 530am so the rest of the house could still sleep. A dad comes in orders a coffee puts it at a table, leaves the store and only after walking his son around the block lulling him to sleep first in the stroller does he come back to enjoy his cup of coffee as his son sleeps peacefully in the stroller next to him. I have seen more 2 and 3 year-olds decide they want to crawl on the floor for a bit--more power to you all! These are all things that Walter has either done or will do at some point. My personal guilty pleasure is going through the Starbucks drive through in both our PJs when he wakes up so early.<br />
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So what do I take away from this? Kids are kids. This is what they do. And there are a whole lot of parents going through it. I have no idea why this point is driven home to me so much better when I witness these things for myself instead of the intimate settings of play-dates and family get-togethers. But it does. It also gives me the strength for the next time we are out and Walter starts screaming at the top of his lungs for seemingly no good reason. Accidental Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03323119963891941270noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-248667374245874782.post-18859201534911743492011-09-14T12:20:00.000-07:002011-09-14T14:21:09.648-07:00Summer VacationSome say when you are a stay-at-home mom and part-time barista at the local coffee shop you don't really get to experience the phenomena known as summer vacation....or do you?<br />
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I chose to. I chose to be lazy. I chose to bask in the sun. Swim in the lake. Go on hikes. Enjoy the days that seem to never end. Grill with friends. Work in the garden (results varied <a href="http://anaccidentalmama.blogspot.com/p/garden-project.html">click here</a> for an account) Yes all of that was my summer. And of course the blog went by the wayside. I still journaled, and thought up posts that to me were funny and witty, it just somehow seemed I couldn't bring my ideas to coherent electronic entries, so around the end of June I decided to "go on vacation".<br />
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The best and most anticipated part of the summer was Walter's second birthday. I am an official mom of a two year-old. Walter is now a two year-old?! You mean "the baby" is now a "little boy". Really? Because when I signed up to be a mom I thought the baby phase would last longer. Walter now tells me what he wants to do, this morning it was water coloring (he is going to give Picasso a run for his money I am sure of it). Walter now tries to express himself as best he can, a rather big work in progress. Walter jumps on the bed and laughs at jokes. When did all this happen? Why didn't anyone tell me it would happen so quickly? I have also spent my summer awestruck at the fact Walter is becoming himself, and trying to walk to tight rope of letting him be himself and setting boundaries (no playing trains on the stairs, please). A walk that sometimes ends in disaster and sometimes, shockingly well.<br />
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Sunday it was supposed to get up into the low 90's so we went to Golden Gardens trying to escape the heat. Walter played in the surf for what seemed hours, until the sun was low on the horizon, his lips purple and his teeth chattering. A first for him, squealing and laughing the whole time. Loving every moment of it. Monday we woke up and the sun had been replaced with clouds and the 80 degree weather replaced with 60 degree weather. Summer vacation is over. Time to fall back into life.Accidental Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03323119963891941270noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-248667374245874782.post-61431841668345195052011-06-10T10:45:00.000-07:002011-06-10T10:45:57.453-07:00What Big Boys DoYesterday was a series of mind-blowing firsts as a mother. I am so grateful to have been there to witness them all....<br />
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Mind blowing first #1: I asked Walter if he wanted to dress himself, he said yes, I told him to go pick out a shirt, he did, and proceeded in putting on the shirt himself, the only snag was the head hole which proves to be a bit hard, since he has the head of a four-year-old, according to his summer hat. I then told him to pick out pants, he picked out a practical pair of blue sweats, and put them on all by himself. WHAT?!?! When did he learn to do this? He did it! I was over the moon<br />
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Mind blowing first #2: Showering since Walter was born has been a group activity, and it seems just as I've embrassed the "duck throwing game"* he changed the game. I got into the shower (sorry--hope the visual hasn't turned anyone away), started doing my business at rapid speed waiting for the duck, but only there was a strange silence....Oh shit I thought to myself, I should have put the baby gate up at the top of the stairs, as my heart lurched up into my throat, I called Walter's name, no response, so I stick myself out and do a visual investigation, whereupon I find him on the comfy brown chair reading to himself! The best part? He looked very agitated that I would disturb his reading!<br />
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He's growing up. Last year it was how tall, how much weight he could gain, this year its been more subtle. Being able to entertain himself, the words and phrases he has learned, the facial gestures, jokes, the personality blossoming, its mind-blowingly incredible. Sometimes I just want to freeze time and live in a moment forever like yesterday.<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">*Duck throwing game consists of me grabbing his rubber duck and throwing it over the curtain rod for him to catch, then him getting the duck, running back to the shower, pulling the curtain back and then throwing it at me, repeat as many times as necessary until mom is clean.</span>Accidental Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03323119963891941270noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-248667374245874782.post-44853457393170901492011-06-08T15:59:00.000-07:002011-06-08T15:59:33.840-07:00Treasures FoundI am getting rid of my old iphone. It has cracks in it, the on/off button broke off, it had been dropped in the toilet, actually its been dropped more times than I can remember, this phone was a trooper. We sold it on ebay and it fetched a handsome $182.50 not bad for the condition it was in, and considering it is 2.5 years old. So last night I had to erase all the stuff that was on there but first needed to go through it to make sure nothing sacred was lost.<br />
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I am so glad I took one last look.<br />
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On it, in the notes section were tiny snip-its of journal entries from when Walter was first born, sleeping and feeding logs, a rundown of his routine from the first time I left him for an entire day, and many other gems including an e-note from my neighbor. So I wonder, as our civilization becomes increasingly more technologically advanced, will the scraps of paper that once contained those things be a relic of the past? I immediately emailed all those "notes" to my email and now they are just sitting there, waiting for me to do something. I think what will most likely happen is I will print those journal entries out and put them into Walter's baby book. It was so fun to read, so fun to reminice and so amazing to see how far we've come:<br />
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<div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">607 up</span></i></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><div style="text-align: left;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">830 nap nursed down (5 min) got really cranky no other sign was tired</span></i></div></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><div style="text-align: left;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">9 am woke up on way to car</span></i></div></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><div style="text-align: left;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">1030-12 3 cat naps @ movies lasting no longer than 10 min</span></i></div></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><div style="text-align: left;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">1245 fell asleep in car</span></i></div></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><div style="text-align: left;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">115 woke up at home</span></i></div></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><div style="text-align: left;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">530 cried on jose's shoulder</span></i></div></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><div style="text-align: left;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">550 woke up ate prunes animated</span></i></div></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><div style="text-align: left;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">645 went back to sleep by water</span></i></div></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><div style="text-align: left;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">730 woke up, fought sleep</span></i></div></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><div style="text-align: left;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">10pm asleep water/rocking in arms/singing/nursing</span></i></div></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><div style="text-align: left;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">145 155</span></i></div></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><div style="text-align: left;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">3am hands and ATMs flailing 316 popped offa lot</span></i></div></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><div style="text-align: left;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">430 4440</span></i></div></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><div style="text-align: left;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">720 woke up</span></i></div></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><div style="text-align: left;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Total sleep: 9.5 hours</span></i></div></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><div style="text-align: left;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Total night wakings: 3</span></i></div></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><div style="text-align: left;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Total night sleep: 7</span></i></div></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: left;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Total naps/hours napped: 2.5</span></i></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: xx-small;"><i><br />
</i></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">After reading that I was instantly transported back to that day, I remembered being so tired and the auto correct making ATM out of my intention to write arms. I am so grateful to have those lost memories come back, I hope I can find some more somewhere else.</span></div></span>Accidental Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03323119963891941270noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-248667374245874782.post-32629822342897126322011-06-06T20:44:00.000-07:002011-06-06T20:44:24.761-07:00The PlanSo a quick disclaimer this post is going to be rambly, philisophical--it's more of an agmaglamation of all the posts I've wanted to post last week but I have been to tired to think about or write coherently.<br />
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Work has kicked my ass! I've only worked 30 hours last week but it feels like 300. My feet ache, my body aches. But its all good, I am finally being paid to mop floors and clean toilets, so really I've earned myself a promotion! Its fun being able to concentrate on the task at hand and not always worrying about where Walter is, if the wall is being colored by marker, the toilet stuffed with too much toilet paper, and where exactly did those strawberries come from. Its also amazing to start AND finish a task without being interrupted. LOVE IT. I like the fact that I am a barista and not a mom, I like making coffee and getting to know people.<br />
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At first I thought Walter was pretty okay with me leaving for work and then I started opening (meaning I had to be out of the house by 415am) and all hell broke loose. He cried and cried for 30 min, asking for me and there was no consoling by Jose. It was horrible. And then on the back end he now insists that I start putting him to bed. It is horrible and I felt like a shitty mom for leaving him. For two reasons, its hard on him, and then because I like being at work. I know Walter likes hanging out with Nikki, he hugs her good-bye and runs to the window to watch her leave an act he does for only those close to his heart. And I just recently found out that she lets him play ball on the stairs which is strictly forbidden by Jose and myself, so he is having a good time. He has picked up painting with her too and LOVES it. So I don't want it to sound all bad. Its not. Its just an adjustment that is being made.<br />
<br />
I of course start thinking of my plan I had for myself. Go back to school get my nursing prerequisites and go to nursing school. Very little of which has happened. And I hate that. I could hear the disappointment in my grandma's voice yesterday when I told her I was working at Starbucks again. I hate disappointing people. Its the worst feeling in the world. But if there is one thing I have learned in the past year is that you can't please everyone. And you have to be pleased with yourself and your life before you can start pleasing anyone else. So what is the plan you ask? I am throwing the planning book out the window into the compost pile. I am a mom, I have a job, I am writing this blog, which I intend to update at least three times a week, and I need to be a good partner/spouse. And the rest well I figure that will fall into place. Maybe I will be a nurse, maybe I won't. Maybe I'll open my own coffee shop up, maybe I won't. Maybe I'll write a bestseller and never have to work again, maybe I won't. Maybe I'll have another baby, maybe I won't. Maybe, maybe, maybe. I am focusing myself in the present, and setting myself up for success in the future. The rest falls to the wayside for now, its simply not important.<br />
<br />
The other key to this conundrum is the fact that I love being at home with Walter. I love making dinner for my family every night. I never thought I would, nor did I think it was very PC of me, in fact I think I've really had to grapple with the fact that I would rather stay at home and raise my family than have a career. There I said it and I am now singlehandedly setting the woman's movement back 40 years. But thats the thing. That's what I want, thats my prerogative, it may not be what Sally wants down the street, and thats okay. I think we as women have come far enough that if we want to have a family and career we should be able to, and if we want to stay at home we should be able to, and if we want to work part-time making coffee we should be able to. To me that is what the feminist movement has been/is all about, giving women the choice.<br />
<br />
We don't know what the future holds but we learn from our past. So I am giving up on the plan for awhile, I am going to enjoy the summer, enjoy my son, enjoy my wonderful partner/spouse, enjoy my friends and family, enjoy my job and then get back to planning when I feel like it.<br />
<br />
And if you are still reading, thank you for listening, or reading, or just being there.Accidental Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03323119963891941270noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-248667374245874782.post-9566108604068544422011-05-31T13:16:00.000-07:002011-05-31T13:16:17.411-07:00A Note to My KidTwo months ago my cousin contacted me asking me to write a letter to Walter for his new project called <a href="http://www.anotetomykid.com/">ANoteToMyKid.com</a>. This website is a collection of letters from parents in different parts of their journey in parenthood some letters are to grown children and some are to toddlers such as Walter. The parents were asked to write to their child and tell them how proud of them you are regardless of their sexual orientation. I am so proud of my cousin Patrick Wallace for doing this and honored to be a part of this. In the same breath I am also very saddened that this website needs to exist. As a mother I cannot imagine shunning my child because of who they are atracted to and love.<br />
<br />
I have watched as friends have been rejected from their parents, family and friends because of their sexual orientation. I have also watched as other friend's parents have surprised them and totally accepted them. And now I am the parent. I only ever hope for Walter is that he be in a loving and respectful relationship, the who it is, is up to him. As a parent I cannot fathom rejecting my child because of who he is attracted to and I want Walter to know that always.<br />
<br />
So wrote a letter and will support Walter and the greater cause in anyway I possibly can. I love this concept for a website. Write a letter, tell your child you support them and are extremely proud of them for who they are. Let them see it and know it. And maybe, just maybe, the stigma of homosexuality can be overcome by love. Because at the end of the day it matters not who you go to bed with, but that that person treats you as respectfully and lovingly as you deserve.Accidental Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03323119963891941270noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-248667374245874782.post-47951691627092627612011-05-29T20:19:00.000-07:002011-05-29T20:19:23.336-07:00Lazy Sunday<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj91u6SeHE3ogyeiERN9CArFjm2LuzT026gRt9QPS73uqvG5yJreghDaY5TGDz4IIHmKVQdtiRXPl9kBBW2jN5r6Xzts5FedbQXQnyIBuQv-zMTFRAmFZ0PPSRilDlCmGjSm0bUo1_252Y/s1600/IMG_20110529_190854.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj91u6SeHE3ogyeiERN9CArFjm2LuzT026gRt9QPS73uqvG5yJreghDaY5TGDz4IIHmKVQdtiRXPl9kBBW2jN5r6Xzts5FedbQXQnyIBuQv-zMTFRAmFZ0PPSRilDlCmGjSm0bUo1_252Y/s320/IMG_20110529_190854.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>Late morning brunch that consisted of an adult conversation of which Thomas character we like the most, on when exactly we are taking a trip to Disneyland, and of course how good the Eggs Benedict was. Well deserved naps that went into the late afternoon. Cuddle time on the couch where if the rest of the world fell away it would be okay because the three of us were snugly next to each other. Grilled steak and asparagus with roasted potatoes and sourdough bread. It was the most divine lazy Sunday that could have been imagined. I am the luckiest mom alive.<div> </div>Accidental Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03323119963891941270noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-248667374245874782.post-63778488052995806412011-05-25T20:04:00.000-07:002011-05-25T20:04:34.200-07:00Nudity?If you haven't heard yet, the town of Forest Park, GA has just recently passed a new ordinance banning public nudity. And guess what? If you are a mom breast-feeding your over two year-old toddler you are NOT exempt from the law. I would like to ask the law makers of the great town of Forest Park a few questions, how did they arrive at the age of two? Just how they plan on enforcing this new law? And I think the most important question is why in the world is breast-feeding (at any age) considered nudity?<br />
<div><br />
</div><div>I just don't get it. Breasts have become over sexualized, people forget why they have been put on this earth to do. Breasts and de-facto lactating is what makes us mammals. How can breast-feeding be indecent if that's what you're supposed to be doing? Its not indecent and its not nudity. Pure and simple. It is a time tested way of providing nutrients and comfort to your child. Furthermore how in the hell would you be able to explain to your toddler, sorry no milk right now we are in a public place and there is a law against that? </div><div><br />
</div><div>I digress, the best part of this whole story? The 300 angry breast feeding moms went to Forest Park's city hall and staged a nurse-in. For those of you not in the know a nurse-in is where you basically breast-feed with a whole bunch of other women to get your point across. Can you imagine 300 (well 600 if you include the nursing babies and toddlers) sitting on the steps of city hall nursing? There must have been some really happy babies and calm toddlers there.<br />
<div><br />
</div><div>My hat goes off to those 300 women who nursed-in. Thank you ladies you are amazing for doing that! And for everyone else I offer this little piece of advice: breast-feeding doesn't harm anyone, so if you are offended please just look away. </div></div>Accidental Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03323119963891941270noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-248667374245874782.post-82838161544388087852011-05-24T20:28:00.000-07:002011-05-24T20:28:35.333-07:00Mama Anna's off the Hook Chicken CurrySo a few weeks ago I noticed something in our spice cabinent, we had 4 four jars of curry powder. Um...what? So I've been experimenting with various curry dishes. And what I am about to share has been a toddler pleaser twice now, seconds, thirds, fourths were asked for ("mo, mo, mo, mo, peesssss" with squinty face smile). I call it Mama's off the Hook Chicken Curry.<br />
<br />
2 boneless chicken breasts or 3 boneless chicken thighs<br />
olive oil<br />
yellow curry<br />
sea salt<br />
1 1/2 cups cooked rice (white or brown)<br />
1/2 yellow onion<br />
peas (any other green veggie)<br />
<br />
Prepare the rice according directions.<br />
<br />
Heat about 2 Tbs olive oil in large skillet on medium high heat<br />
While olive oil is heating slice chicken into 1/2" strips<br />
Season chicken with about 1 tsp of sea salt and 1 Tbs of yellow curry<br />
Cook chicken until all the way cooked through,<br />
while chicken is cooking dice onion<br />
once chicken is cooked through remove and add about 4 Tbs yellow curry and onion to the skillet<br />
Cook for about 5 minutes or until onions are nice and soft<br />
Add chicken back in, reduce heat let cook together for 5 min,<br />
Add rice in, mix together until rice is yellow in color, add in veggies, cover and turn heat off until ready to serve.<br />
Enjoy!Accidental Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03323119963891941270noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-248667374245874782.post-31739312451926888852011-05-22T20:14:00.000-07:002011-05-22T20:14:08.029-07:00Time is FleetingNothing makes you more aware of time passing then having a child.<br />
<br />
Friday marked another milestone. My self-imposed extended maternity leave ended and it was last "full" day as Walter's stay-at-home mom. I planned the day to be special but not have any special pomp and cicumstance. And I only cried once! Somehow I couldn't keep it together when I was dressing Walter and trying to explain to him how I was going to go back to work and his new "friend" Nikki would be hanging out with him instead. And he just looked at me like "I know mom, this is going to be great for the both of us".<br />
<br />
So we did the <a href="http://www.seattle.gov/parks/park_detail.asp?id=409">Genesse Park</a> loop which is a nice 3 mile walk down to Lake Washington from our house. We've been doing this walk since last fall and it really does show off how much Walter has grown up. The walk (not always) includes a stop to Starbucks, then up a steep hill-- when we started doing this loop I had to push Walter up in the stroller, now he can walk it himself. Then down the backside of the steep hill, over to the northend of Genesse park where we (sometimes) stop at a playground, then over to the astroturf soccer field and ran the lines for a few minutes. Then it was across the street to the "agility" playground to practice agility. Six months ago Walter couldn't do one of the exercises on the playground, now he can do about three (with my help of course, but he knows what to do!), then it was to the walking path--my personal favorite, this is where we spent all fall in the mornings walking, picking up leaves, splashing in puddles and trying to catch birds.<br />
<br />
We came home and well, Walter refused his nap. I like to think of it as him knowing somehow it was our last day together just him and I and he didn't want to miss a minute of it.<br />
<br />
After "nap time" we went to <a href="http://www.seattle.gov/parks/park_detail.asp?ID=411">Lakeridge Park</a> with some new friends we've made this spring. Lakeridge Park is brilliant! It has a hiking trail, creek you can picnic next to, and a nice sized park. Lakeridge Park is tucked away in the very south end of Seattle next to Lake Washington. Walter played and played and played in the water. He loved it. His favorite game was "throw the shovel upstream and try and catch it". He dunked his head under water. He was having a ball. He and one of his friends then ventured on upstream for an in water hike. It was a great way to spend our time together. Did I mention it was one of the first days in Seattle over 70? It made the day perfect.<br />
<br />
What can I say our last day together was magical. I know that there will be days off and I know that my job description doesn't lend itself to that high stress or taking work home with me, but still an era came to a close on Friday, and a new one begins. Its super sad and very exciting all in one breath.Accidental Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03323119963891941270noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-248667374245874782.post-20043257607740378882011-05-18T20:53:00.000-07:002011-05-18T20:53:57.079-07:00Go the F*&! to Sleep: An update!<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;">Update!</span><br />
<i>Go the Fuck to Sleep</i> is being released early due to popular demand (and I suspect the digital copy leaks on the internet). And what a controversy it has started to stir. I mean, this is the way I think of it, and I do consider myself a bit of an expert here, if you can't laugh at the shitty sleep situation you are in, then you might be a robot.<br />
<br />
I mean every parent has been there and now one parent has enough courage to actually write a witty and articulate book about what every parent feels. It is not the end of literature as one critic has said. It is satire if anything this book will propel satyrical literature. Okay now I am going to far and I realize this. But this book is a very comical stab at a very serious issue that most parents go through and like I said if you can't laugh at it, then maybe you are a robot.<br />
<br />
I have provided a link to pre-order your copy from Amazon today if needed.<br />
<iframe align="left" frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=diaryof03-20&o=1&p=8&l=bpl&asins=1617750255&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="align: left; height: 245px; padding-right: 10px; padding-top: 5px; width: 131px;"></iframe>Accidental Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03323119963891941270noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-248667374245874782.post-87442978371979683672011-05-18T10:55:00.000-07:002011-05-18T10:55:47.632-07:00Parenting and the InternetI honestly have no idea what parents did before the internet. Just as, I honestly never knew that this amazing corner of the internet existed. I affectionaltely call it the parenting corner. Where you can find all the answers to your child's needs, ailments, and reassurance you are doing a good job.<br />
<br />
Walter is acting up and out of control, what happened to my angel? <a href="http://askdrsears.com/">askdrsears.com</a> to the rescue! I don't know if Walter has an earache or not and what exactly does Scarlett Fever look like? <a href="http://www.babycenter.com/symptom-guide">babycenter.com's symptom guide</a> to the rescue! I am having a down day and think I am the worst mother in the word <a href="http://www.parenting.com/blogs/parenting-post">parenting.com</a> to the rescue with a funny story or blog post to cheer me up!<br />
<br />
I know most likely grandparents were the ones to share the wealth of childbearing knowledge but in today's world where grandparents sometimes live 1000's of miles away and the thought of calling someone in the middle of the night because you don't know exactly what rubella is. I am grateful for the internet and the wealth of parenting advice it has for me to explore. And the fact that the internet doesn't get hurt feelings when you don't take it up on the advice is even better!Accidental Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03323119963891941270noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-248667374245874782.post-87016085822019687572011-05-17T13:44:00.000-07:002011-09-22T10:02:34.114-07:00Toddler BitesIf the first year of life can be marked by the phrase "baby steps" then I think the second year of life can be marked by the phrase "toddler bites". Depending on which toddler you are talking about the last phrase could have many meanings. In Walter's case it means that he will take exactly one bite of banana and play for 15 minutes come back and have exactly three bites of his bagel and go back to playing for another 10 minutes and then come back for a swig of water and then go back to the business at hand. Then there are the times where he will ingest an adult portion of spaghetti and veggies, eat through an entire bagel, or an entire pint of blueberries and insist he wants more.<br />
<div><br />
</div><div>This all provides for stress. Who knew that eating would cause so much stress? This was definitely something I did not anticipate. I stress out about how much he eats or if he doesn't eat, when he eats and when he doesn't. At any given moment you could ask me how much Walter has had to eat and I can give you a detailed description down to the last crumb. Now there is a talent I never knew I had.</div><div><br />
</div><div>So here are my golden rules of combating the stress of Walter's eating habits:</div><div><br />
</div><div><ul><li>When thinking about how many servings of fruits, veggies, whole grains, dairy, ect Walter has I don't think in terms of per day, I think in terms of per week. Or not as a snapshot but rather a video. Some days its all carbs and some days its all broccoli.</li>
<li>Typically the biggest meal of the day for toddlers is lunch, so I don't freak out if he has four bites of banana and 19 Cheerios for breakfast</li>
<li>I keep an open door policy for Walter all his food is on a shelf he can access in the pantry so he can get his food himself, likewise for the fridge, he just needs me to open it.</li>
<li>And I try to have healthy super-foods on hand such as blueberries (the amazing little berry that has too many good vitamins and antioxidants to mention), salmon, yogurt and oatmeal.</li>
</ul></div><div><br />
</div><div><br />
</div><div>And what exactly are the guidelines for serving size for a toddler? Check out the <a href="http://www.babycenter.com/0_age-by-age-guide-to-feeding-your-toddler_1736045.bc">age-by-age guide</a> that babycenter.com has. It is a truly magnificent tool. </div><div><br />
</div><div>At the end of the day I know my job as mom is to offer healthy selections and it is Walter's job to eat. But it is so hard when I ask if he wants an apple? no. Banana? no. Cheerios? no. And then he settles for the 3rd cheese stick of the day. Huh? Cheese the wonder food for toddlers and adults alike. </div><div><br />
</div>Accidental Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03323119963891941270noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-248667374245874782.post-67990936797987684482011-05-16T14:02:00.000-07:002011-05-16T14:02:55.098-07:00Thomas is his name...<div style="font: 16.0px Times; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">When Walter was a brand new baby I would look at him and marvel, what would he be interested in as a little boy? Airplanes? Bugs? Dinosaurs? Trains? Art? Dolls? Animals? Cooking? Playing house? Super heros? And I had a hard time imagining it. I think part of it was I really didn't want to influence him in anyway. So now its almost two years since my marveling and I think the answer is trains, followed up by planes and helicopters. Walter loves to sit in the windows that face north and watch the light rail trains come and go. So I can see how trains are a natural fit.</div><div><br />
</div><div style="font: 16.0px Times; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">Late last week we had family friends over for dinner and after dinner the four-and-a-half year-old asked if he could watch TV. We put Thomas the Train on--one of the <i>few</i> shows that Walter has seen--we have a very strict rule of no TV in the house until 2, but only for special occasions is the rule bent. Walter and his friend watched Thomas the Train and were so happy. Walter even made up a dance to the theme song which included him waving his arms in the air.</div><div style="font: 16.0px Times; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font: 16.0px Times; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">It rained yesterday, all day. We were all low on sleep and all Walter wanted to do was watch Thomas the Train. And when I say wanted I mean insisted, and by insisting he was kinda crazy, like Beatles fan crazy. Walter was pointing to the TV and waving his hands in the air like he did on Thursday night when the theme song came on and then asked for Thomas incessantly. So I went to the internet and printed out some coloring pages for him. It quelled him for a bit. But then the insistance started up again. Jose and I came up with a plan: Go to Barnes and Noble via light rail and use the rest of Walter's Christmas gift from his grandma (a $50 gift card to Barnes and Noble) after nap time. So we bribed our child to sleep with the promise of a "great surprise" when he woke up. </div><div style="font: 16.0px Times; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 19.0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font: 16.0px Times; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">We would rode the light rail into downtown with every intention of getting <i>just</i> this one Thomas the Train book. One of Walter's friends had this amazing Thomas the Train book that Walter was kinda obsessed with when he was over at his house in late March. So we intended on buying just one book but....we came out of Barnes and Noble with almost $100 worth of Thomas the Train merchandise. Jose and I had been fighting getting Walter anything "commercial" for so long, and now we had done it in spades. On the 20 min light rail ride home Walter couldn't wait and we read two of his new books to him, over an over again. And I ask you now, how can that be such a bad thing? Walter loves reading about his newest obsession Thomas the Train and has totally forgotten about the TV.</div><div style="font: 16.0px Times; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 19.0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font: 16.0px Times; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">I have posted what we purchased just in case there are any other Thomas affinanados reading, because in the world of books, they are pretty cool! And I also see we should have bought all these books on Amazon as we could have saved about $15. Live and learn!</div><div style="font: 16.0px Times; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font: 16.0px Times; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><iframe align="left" frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=diaryof03-20&o=1&p=8&l=bpl&asins=141276811X&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="align: left; height: 245px; padding-right: 10px; padding-top: 5px; width: 131px;"></iframe> <iframe align="left" frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=diaryof03-20&o=1&p=8&l=bpl&asins=B0000630L2&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="align: left; height: 245px; padding-right: 10px; padding-top: 5px; width: 131px;"></iframe><iframe align="left" frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=diaryof03-20&o=1&p=8&l=bpl&asins=0375843221&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="align: left; height: 245px; padding-right: 10px; padding-top: 5px; width: 131px;"></iframe> <iframe align="left" frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=diaryof03-20&o=1&p=8&l=bpl&asins=0375841261&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="align: left; height: 245px; padding-right: 10px; padding-top: 5px; width: 131px;"></iframe> <iframe align="left" frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=diaryof03-20&o=1&p=8&l=bpl&asins=0307103358&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="align: left; height: 245px; padding-right: 10px; padding-top: 5px; width: 131px;"></iframe></div>Accidental Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03323119963891941270noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-248667374245874782.post-84518930088263537292011-05-15T13:25:00.000-07:002011-05-15T13:25:30.919-07:00Sleep strikes and other such disasters...When I was about 9.1 months pregnant and my best friend, Lara sat across from me in my living room and we were talking baby talk (her daughter is now 11), I suddenly sat up and asked;<br />
<br />
"When should I expect BeaWally (Walter's name in utero since we were waiting to find out the gender when he was born-- Beatrice, if a girl and Walter, if a boy) to sleep through the night again?"<br />
<br />
I can't even remember what I was expecting the answer to be, but the answer I got was certianly not it, but what I needed or wanted to hear.<br />
<br />
Lara got very serious and said "Don't expect to consistently sleep through the night until BeaWally is in kindergarten."<br />
<br />
"What?!" I asked incrediously.<br />
<br />
"I don't mean that they won't sleep through the night before hand, they will it just won't be consistent. They don't sleep because they are working on a new skill, they don't sleep because their teeth bother them, they don't sleep because they are sick, they don't go to sleep because they know that it bothers you. There are a million reasons why they don't sleep, but they don't and if you expect them to you will just be setting yourself up for hard times." In short I could expect to sleep very little in the next 5 years.<br />
<br />
My head started spinning. Surely Lara's daughter was some sort of outlier. Surely I wasn't going to be sleep deprived for 5 years? And more importantly why, oh why, had no one told me about this before?<br />
<br />
Now in the almost two years that have come since that conversation I am happy to say Walter has slept through the night. Though not consistently. He will always go to sleep but then around 1 is when he likes to wake up. He is a huge night waker, especially when he is working on mastering a new skill or teething. There was a string of one nighters every 4 weeks until he was about 8 months old where he stayed awake for 24 hours straight. That was crazy. No one, not even his doctors could figure out a reason for it. And then just like that he stopped.<br />
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There are people who suggest sleep training. Which is an option. But we haven't tried any sleep training for two reasons. First reason, to me (and this is only to me) the amount of time and energy it takes to sleep train isn't worth it. Because once they get sick, start working on mastering a new skill, the routine is altered in any little way, all that sleep training is out the window and you have to start at the beginning. Second reason, is I am a freak. I don't need a lot of sleep to function and while I do complain about not getting sleep when its bad, I would rather not sleep than train Walter and have to listen to him cry-it-out. I can't stand to hear him cry. So I sacrifice the sleep, and I am okay with that.<br />
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So when there are nights like last night where I didn't get to sleep until a little past 4am because my darling boy was teething so bad he whimpered "mom, mom, mom, mom" for 5 hours straight, I console myself with the fact that this will all soon end when he goes to kindergarten. Three years isn't that far away is it?<br />
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Now I do realize that what I have just written is a huge generalization. Some babies sleep through the night almost immediately. Some babies take to sleep training like a champ. But not all and I am writing this to those that, like me, whose children don't sleep through the night consistently and can't/won't sleep train. You are not alone.Accidental Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03323119963891941270noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-248667374245874782.post-76118454733559772222011-05-14T13:28:00.000-07:002011-05-14T13:28:33.997-07:00Sometimes you have to go backwards to go forwardAnother lifetime ago I was a Starbucks store manager. I came to work at Starbucks as a barista because I was laid off from my job as a Post Production Manager at a documentary film company. It was supposed to be a temporary job. A job to help me until I found another job. But only, I stayed. I quickly climbed the ladder and before I knew it I was responsible for a store. My time a Starbucks was hands down my most favorite time ever working. Yes there were still days I wanted to call in sick and forget I worked there, but they were very few and far between. I enjoyed putting the legend into legendary...<br />
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Fast forward to today. I've been looking for part-time work in the health care field. I haven't been too successful at it, out of possibly 50 resumes I've submitted I got one interview. And lets face it it has been very intimidating to go back to work after being out of work for so long. Then a Starbucks store manager friend of mine suggested I put my application in. No way. I mean, no. I left Starbucks. Barrista? what in the world did that have to do with becoming a nurse? Nothing. That's what.<br />
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But then I started thinking.<br />
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This year we want to buy a house. I want to actually earn money, not just spend it. I wanted adult interaction. I wanted a job that I didn't work exact opposite hours so that our family was never together as a whole. I needed a job that I didn't take home with me at night. I wanted to do something that I excel at.<br />
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A barista is it. The store is four blocks away from our house. I can walk. I know the job, I could do it in my sleep.<br />
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So I applied. I went to two interviews, and now I have a new (old) job. A job I was luke-warm in thinking I would want to take I am really excited for next week when I get to don my green apron once again. Only this time, I'm not the boss.Accidental Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03323119963891941270noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-248667374245874782.post-50737022881702507682011-05-13T10:11:00.000-07:002011-05-13T10:11:08.805-07:00....and we're backSorry for the interruption. This time it wasn't me being a slacker blogger. Quite the contrary. I was busily clack, clack, clacking away during nap time yesterday and went to hit the 'publish' button and much to my dismay, it said "unable to publish at this time, blogger site down for maintenance--read only mode is available." Okay.....I guess it was some kind of huge maintenance as I wasn't able to post anything as of bedtime yesterday.<br />
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Yesterday's post wasn't that great so I suppose I am glad it didn't post. It was gloomy all about the sad weather Seattle is experiencing and me wishing we could have just three days in a row without rain. I mean its mid-May!<br />
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But yesterday's service interruption combined with my vacation just goes to prove how hard it is to keep a blog going. There is a certain amount of dedication and determination that is needed for it. I wish I would have started blogging again earlier. It really does serve to clear my mind. The past month it has served to be my reset button during the day. I have foregone my naps that I usually take with Walter to write. I feel more refreshed and a bit more centered. This doesn't happen when I just write in my journal. I think it has something to do with being in the public forum. I can't deny that it is fun watching the stats, seeing that people ARE actually reading it. There was even once a reader in Russia. They have since not read my blog again. That makes me sad, as I love Russia, and anything Russian, that may have been my proudest moment. I am grateful for anyone who reads.<br />
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A month into it the blog the number one suggestion that I have received has been the ability to leave comments is hard. I will work on that. Until then you can always click on the 'email me' 'pencil' button at the bottom. I can post your comment then in a 'dear abby' sort of fashion. I know some of you have gone to the <a href="http://www.facebook.com/pages/aSeattle-WA/An-Accidental-Mama/193076787401977">facebook page</a> and left your comments there. I will figure out how to make comments easier to leave here. I need to start breaking into that html business again. Just when to find the time...Accidental Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03323119963891941270noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-248667374245874782.post-5403148266382730872011-05-11T12:35:00.000-07:002011-05-11T12:35:32.676-07:00No use Crying over Spilled MIlk....a mom must have come up with that phrase after the 1000th time cleaning up after her precious little bundle of joy. Seriously. Seriously I was not prepared for what is the mess of having a child.<br />
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The first six months is not that bad in retrospective. Its just poop that expodes all over the place and spit-up. But brace yourself...the mess lurks just around the corner. We walked into Walter's aunt's house last year (Walter was about 8 months, and his cousin 4 years old.) and it was cluttered with toys pushed to the side, under the couches and incorporated into the living room decor. I stood there in my ivory tower and wispered quietly to Jose "we will <i>never</i> let our house look like that". Ummm yeah, a year later it does I say as I am eating my humble pie.<br />
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Don't be fooled by "the mess" in the beginning it really is a begnin presence, some baby food here, a dropped utensil there. It really starts at around six months for two reasons, most babies start eating solids AND they have the motor skills to throw things. Why, oh, why would mother nature be so cruel, doesn't she know that is a messy combination? So food is thrown, toys are thrown, then they become mobile and toilet paper and boxes of Kleenex are fascinating beyond all belief , there are the dumped glasses of water, pulled books off the shelves, the gravity game from the high chair with the baby food--splat on the floor, hand prints on the windows, marker on the floor and before you know it the mess is all consuming. And you could be cleaning all day long and still not make a dent in it. Because once one mess is cleaned another has been created.<br />
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You have two options, fight it--cry over the spilled milk. Or embrace it--growing up is a messy adventure.<br />
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Embracing it is hard, especially when I was so judgmental about the messes of others just a year ago. But mess is the nature of growing up. Its gonna get messy. Its how you deal with cleaning up I think is the key. At our house we have a couple of rules:<br />
<ul><li> if something spills we clean it up right away. And so far Walter loves doing this.</li>
<li> At the end of the night we put away all the toys/art supplies/books that were taken out and not put away throughout the day</li>
<li> Try to put the last book read on the shelf before taking a new one off (we are at 50%) with that one. </li>
<li>Walter throws away his own diaper</li>
</ul><div>I am also lucky in the fact that Walter loves to dust and use the broom so I foster this behavior any chance I get and praise him for the great job he did. I live with the hope that one day, in the not so near future the mess will leave, but I know better. So I have my friend the mess to keep me company.</div>Accidental Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03323119963891941270noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-248667374245874782.post-25506796282519460262011-05-10T13:29:00.000-07:002011-05-10T13:29:03.272-07:00Home again, home again jiggity-jig<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">So, we are home. I know that the blog, much like my house plants has been neglected since we left for California. And I had such aspirations of having all my posts that I so diligently prepared beforehand self-publish according to the auto publishing feature. Better luck next time. </div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">We went down to Southern California for my grandfather's 90th birthday party. Ninety years old?! He is an amazing man, who has lived through amazing times. He is also the man Walter is named after. </div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">Traveling with a toddler is an adeventure. Well traveling is an adventure period. But with a toddler you need to be prepared for anything. The X factor is huge. We are lucky in the fact that Walter is fairly easy going. He survives on minimal sleep while still managing to be his adorable and funny self, impressing all the family members.<br />
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However it seems there is always that looming X factor. I think is what makes the adventure stressful. Did he sleep enough? Is this place too loud? Is he too hot? Does he need more food? There is always something that sets him off. And trying to guess what it is before it happens is sometimes a hard thing to accomplish. At my grandfather's birthday party at 3pm he promptly stuck his fist down his throat to gag himself and with that we had to leave, when babies turn to bulimia to signal they are done, its time to go. I so wanted to stay. I only get to see my family a handful of times a year and Walter was having such a good time playing with his cousins. But we had to go. It was time.<br />
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Its that X factor that always keeps me just north of enjoying myself completely on vacation. I want Walter to enjoy himself so that he likes traveling. I try to make it so enjoyable for him that I forget about me. This is not to say I had a horrible time, hardly. I was back where I grew up, I saw friends I hadn't seen since I left for Seattle, I got to hang with my whole family, it was great time. I just hope Walter had an equally great time.<br />
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Now we are home, the routine is back as if it never left and no one has to resort to baby bulimia to get their point across anymore. </div>Accidental Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03323119963891941270noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-248667374245874782.post-4518535827420583322011-05-06T12:02:00.000-07:002011-09-14T14:20:15.413-07:0021 Months and CountingToday marks 21 months since Walter was born. He's doing great, finally starting to really articulate himself, eating more and more every day, and has recently mastered running. Watch out world. It blows my mind that I have been able to keep him more or less out of harm's way for 21 months, especially considering I hadn't changed a diaper for at least 10 years before he came along.<br />
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It also blows my mind that I have also been breast feeding him for 21 months. Yes I am that crazy breast feeding mom. When I was pregnant I thought I would breast feed 6 months tops. I didn't really research it, but knew that would be the way I would feed my baby. I mean why buy formula when you can have the real stuff for free? Sadly, that was my main reason to breast feed. Pre Walter. But a funny thing happened. I really enjoyed breast feeding. As a new mom adjusting to mom life this was one thing I was really good at. And most of all I wasn't prepared for the emotional and physical bonds that come with breast feeding. And it is such an indescribable feeling to have something that my body produces kept my baby healthy and alive for the first 6 months exclusively and from then on as a super comforting, nutrient rich treat.<br />
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Like I said, at first my goal was 6 months. That goal came and went and it just felt like it wasn't the right time to cut the flow, especially since when you start adding solids its not just like they start eating and stop wanting the breast. So I said 1 year. At the end of July it was clear neither Walter nor I was ready to let go. So I readjusted the goal to 2 years, with the promise of a slow weaning process. And in a few months when the early days of August arrive I know that will be the end. It makes me sad (I am tearing up right now) and relieved (yay! After almost 3 years I can have my body back to me, all me !) all at the same time. I have no idea how I am going to go about weaning Walter. We've almost cut all the nursing sessions out in public. But at home he just loves to come over and have a little pick-me-up. I still nurse him to sleep at nap-time and when he hurt himself. It is still crazy to me, after all these months the milk still flows. And keeps flowing.<br />
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So in honor of 21 months and counting. I am going to dedicate Friday's posts to everything breast feeding. Information and dispelling disinformation.Accidental Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03323119963891941270noreply@blogger.com0